Debated long and hard for which way is up and this as my favourite, but it truly works in any direction. The top half has modeling paste with texture like plaster and the black has drip depth to it (not just flat). The bottom half is more smooth with only the paint brush and canvas board texture.
About feeling alien in the world but still finding your way. An abstract experiment of texture and colour. A pinch of breaking the fourth wall.
This is about an individuals impact on the world versus intention. Often they don’t translate as we hoped, but we do have an impact. It’s a bit like swimming underwater sometimes, but we grow. A bit of an experiment in textures and the canvas board is very warped.
Never thought I’d like abstract paintings so much, but sometimes abstract is the only way to express difficult emotions in all of their complexity. Sometimes I hesitate to share my personal meanings because one of the beautiful things about abstract art is it can reach people in different ways and I don’t want to detract from a meaning someone else found in my painting. Part of what makes emotional abstracts so powerful is our subconscious can speak or even listen to the patterns that help us process our own individual thoughts that are different from what the painter was thinking at the time.
For a long time I was the sort of person who could only appreciate abstracts knowing what the artist was thinking about. This piece I painted about my personal struggles friends and connecting to people. I was feeling very disconnected. I make acquaintances quite easily, but very close friends can (and maybe should be?) quite rare. It’s very common for people with difficult childhoods to struggle with boundaries. (ie. Sharing too much too quickly or asking about far too personal things too quickly.) It’s about frustration, hope, growth, and meeting that person who just “gets you”.